Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
