If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
