So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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