He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He passed out mid-signature
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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