Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
