Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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