he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
