So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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