So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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