you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
