She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
