i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
