I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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