I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You pole danced in your parka.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
