At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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