There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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