I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
