'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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