I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Randomize
