Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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