She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
