PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
