So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
