I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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