I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Randomize
