Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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