Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
