I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
