I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
