Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize