you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
