i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
