If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
