When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
