I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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