yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
