Your mouth is God's brothel.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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