HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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