They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
