Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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