Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
