Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
