Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
