I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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