I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
