Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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