I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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