when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
