you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
God, I missed his penis.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
