I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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