Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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