Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
