All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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