Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
