it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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