Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
