The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
