this beer tastes like vomit already
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
