Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
