I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Randomize
